Think about the people who annoy you. That’s right, the people who get under your skin. They may have habits of complaining continuously, or always having a problem, or of disagreeing with all that you say. Maybe they constantly have aches and pains. Maybe they talk on and on or maybe they interrupt you repeatedly. There are so many ways to be annoying!

It’s easy to have compassion for likable people. But what about having compassion for people who are not so likable? Are you able to have compassion for them?

Sometimes the people who are so unlikable are the very ones who need compassion and understanding the most. How do you do that? Dr. Kristin Neff talks about the concept that we are all connected, we are all part of humanity. We are all human beings who are seeking belonging and connection. Recognize that, just like you, this person wants to have friends, just like you this person doesn’t want to suffer, just like you this person is trying to learn about life and just like you this person is seeking to have the best life they can. Their struggles and challenges may be different than yours, but they are trying to live their best life, just like you.

Imagine that you are the person who is doing something that is annoying someone else. Think how you would feel if that person judged you with anger and rejected you. Now think how you would feel if the other person accepted you with compassion, your flaws and all?

If you’d like to learn more about self-compassion, see Dr. Neff’s website.

Live a skill-full life! By, Karyn Hall, Ph.D., May 24, 2020

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