Each day in May we will publish a new blog article by Karyn Hall, PhD
May Is BPD Awareness Month
Stop Judging Yourself
Good Morning!
I woke up with lots of energy today, so I decided to make bagels. Right now, they are cooling, so I’ll let you know later how they turned out. You may remember that I’m working on learning to cook, so this is another step. It’s all part of trying to live a healthier life–getting rid of preservatives in my food!
But you aren’t reading this to talk about preservatives. We’re working on a healthier you, we’re working on active whole-body health, including physical health, social health, and emotional health.
Recently we started looking at ways you might be keeping yourself stuck in habits that make you miserable, and one of those is harshly judging yourself. Judging yourself is different from taking responsibility or being honest with yourself about strengths and weaknesses. Judging yourself is about saying harsh things to yourself.
The title to today’s post is a bit misleading. It’s really unlikely that you can just go from judging yourself to not judging yourself. Instead, start with being aware of judging. Maybe you judge yourself in one particular area, like your appearance or how you talk with people.
- Practice noticing when you judge yourself.
- Think of ways you can replace the harsh judgments with a neutral statement.
- Every time the harsh statement comes up, replace it with the more neutral statement.
- Repeat, repeat, repeat.
So the bagels are okay, but not great. A harsh self-judgment might be, “I’ll never learn to cook,” or, “I hate myself; I mess everything up.” What could you replace the harsh self-judgments with? Maybe, “What did I learn?” You might say, “Learning anything new takes practice.” You could even laugh about it, “Well, opening a bagel shop is not in my future anyway.”
How do you judge yourself brutally or unkindly? How can you replace those judgments?
Live a skill-full life. By Karyn Hall, Ph.D., May 27, 2020
Webinars
Perspectives on Recovery
from BPD: a Panel
Discussion
Ever wondered what recovery looks like, the various paths toward recovery, and how those impacted by BPD learn to manage symptoms, work, relationships? A discussion among those with lived experience and professionals about the BPD journey, with an emphasis on individual strengths and recovery narratives. Co sponsored with Emotions Matter.
The Questions you always wanted to ask about BPD and Emotion Dysregulation
Two clinicians who treat BPD and emotion dysregulation and a Family Connections™ Leader will answer all the questions you have always wanted to ask. Using their own experiences and examples they will tackle each question to give you the accurate answers. Submit your questions for this webinar by clicking here.
Riding the Waves of Emotions: How FC taught me how to surf
She doesn’t swim and won’t step foot in the ocean; yet, somehow learned to surf without going under. Join us to hear the story of how one Family Connections™ leader found balance in her family’s BPD storm- one skill at a time.
Harmony in BPD Recovery: How both DBT and TFP led to full recovery from BPD
Andrea Rosenhaft, a licensed clinical social worker who recovered from BPD talks about how a combination of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and Transference-Focus Psychotherapy (TFP) was the key to her full recovery from BPD.
A Podcast with Charlie: To Hell And Back
Thursdays At 6PM Eastern (U.S.) Time
A Podcast with Charlie: To Hell And Back
Thursdays At 6PM Eastern (U.S.) Time
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a serious psychological and psychosocial disorder where people have extreme difficulties regulating their emotions. Problems include intense and volatile emotions (such as shame, anger, sadness or anxiety), chaotic relationships, impulsivity, unstable sense of self, suicide attempts, self-harm, fears of abandonment, and chronic feelings of emptiness. With effective treatment and support, data show that most people with BPD can make great progress, with important gains even in one year across a variety of problem areas.
Many will no longer meet criteria for BPD. Similarly, data show that with help, family members also report big reductions in grief and feelings of burden, as well as an increased sense of mastery and family satisfaction. Over time, 80% of BPD sufferers reduce their symptoms.
NEABPD was initially created as a resource and support group for the families of the BPD diagnosis. NEABPD has now grown to be a large community of both people and information. You don’t have to travel this path alone.There is hope.
Welcome to the National Education Alliance for
Borderline Personality Disorder website
We invite you to look at the wealth of information on the site and also to explore our Media Library, an international resource of audio and video postings. We thank the many hundreds of presenters who gave of their time to make this the largest global media library on borderline personality disorder. All resources are available for you at no cost.
Please share your thoughts, suggestions and comments on the site with us. Donations to support our effort are greatly appreciated!